Although corny, every book wyrm secretly loves cheesy book puns and pickup lines. So here’s a whole list of them for you to enjoy. Don’t worry. We won’t tell anyone if you laugh.
Is your name Scarlett? Because when I saw you, my heart was gone with the wind.
The podiatry book used footnotes while the proctology book used endnotes.
The little boy was so full of energy that every book he read was a hyper text.
An accountant for a restaurant has to be sure the books are not cooked.
Once I tried illustrating currency books for a living. I never drew a dime.
I like books, you like books, why don’t we start writing the story of us?
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print!
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I don’t have yours.
I know I’m not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but one glance at you and I’m already interested.
Charles Dickens might have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.
Hey cutie, I Sense you have a lot of Sensibility. Was that too Austen-tatious of me to point out?
Sorry! My weekend is so busy. It’s all booked!
Dinosaurs didn’t read. Now they’re extinct.
I was just diagnosed with IBS: Impulsive Book-Reading Syndrome. #15
What building has the most stories? The library.
What do you do if your pet starts eating your novel?
Take the words right out of his mouth!
What does the ghost always need more books?
He goes through them too quickly.
I wish you would open up to me.
The policeman said if I didn’t pay my library fine he would have to book me.
When she made Mario Puzo’s novels required reading for her class, she made him an author they couldn’t refuse.
Have you read the bestseller about teleportation?
It’s bound to get you somewhere.
A second glance is all that’s needed for a book re-view.
The book about teflon contained no frictional characters.
I was going to buy a best seller on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
I once read a book about singularity. It really sucked me in.
The student was an aggressive learner — he hit the books.
I read this book about Mount Everest. It was quite the cliffhanger.
The book of incantations was useless. The author had failed to run a spell check.
A tome fell on my head the other day … I can only blame my shelf!
A young man visited the librarian every day so he could get into her good books.
We could make such a beautiful library together.
You are like a good novel — I just can’t get you out of my head.
If I had to make a Patronus, I’d just think of you.
If I had a flower for every time I’ve thought of you, I’d have a Secret Garden.
Are you a library book? Because I am checking you out.
I just read a textbook about stockholm syndrome. The first couple chapters were awful but by the end I loved it.
Ereader: The same story again?
Book: It’s the only one I have.
During the rainy season, I spread out large books for my guests to wipe their feet on. These are the tomes that dry men’s soles.
I’ve never enjoyed paper backs: Their blend of wooden characters and watered-down plots makes them pulpy.
The high school music teacher was quite controversial. He told his students to read band books.
A book called Current Trends in Wiring Your House turned out to be a shocking failure.
The author wasn’t pleased to see a review of his book on cappuccinos. The review said the book was all froth and no substance.
I’m reading a novel about mazes; I got lost in it.
What did the sketch book say to the novel? I’m drawing a blank.
I had plans to begin reading a book about sinkholes, but they fell through.
You had me at “I like books.”
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Do you have a book pun or pickup line that you love? Share with us in the comments below!