If you’re a book lover, then books have probably infiltrated every aspect of your life. In fact, it’s probably hard for someone to find you without a book in your hand or a book nearby, on call. And through all this time, books have shared their stories with you like whispers drifting off the pages. But, have you ever wondered what books might say outside of their carefully constructed stories if books could talk? We have, and we’ve constructed some of the sentences we think our sassy novels might say to us. Do you think your books could relate to any of these?
“I’m all for an early morning reading sesh, but could you please brush your teeth first?”
“Why must you always pick the grimiest, greasiest food to eat while you read? I’ll never get all these Cheetos and chocolate smudges off my pages!”
“Hello? Anyone out there? I’ve been left open, my spin is breaking, and I can’t breathe! Send help!”
“Gee! It sure feels good to stretch my pages again after being stuck on that cramped shelf for ages.”
“Pardon me, but are you seriously taking a bath right now? You know I’m not water-proof right? Was that a splash? Ick, your fingers are so damp.”
“What? You’re shelving me next to that book? But I’m wayyy better than that wannabe story.”
“Oh, no. Please don’t tell me you’re going to try and cram yet another book onto this shelf.”
“Tee, hee. You’re tickling my pages.”
“It’s so nice to take a break from the bookshelf for a few days and take a turn around the house.”
“Hey, sweaty fingers, maybe it’s time we take this reading session inside for a bit.”
“Are you cheating on me? I saw the way you were looking at that other romance novel.”
“I love late night cuddles. Oh wait, why are your eyes drifting close? And now you’re drooling on my pages! Nice!”
“Yes, I need to report some missing pages. They were last seen in the toddler’s hands.”
“Hey Mr. Big Shot Book. You just think you’re so great because you were on the New York Times Bestsellers list. But behind that gaudy, review-drenched cover, you’re just pages like the rest of us.”
“Hey, fella, do you think we might be reading too close to the water? Cause I think we might be reading too close to the water.”
“I’m going in the purse! What fun! I wonder where we’re going?”
“I see you going for my corner again. Don’t even think about dog-earing me again. You know they invented bookmarks for a reason right? My poor, poor pages.”
“What are you doing? Are you really skipping to the end? But you haven’t even made it through the first three chapters yet!”
*Singing from the shelf as you walk by* “I could show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splen . . . And there they go . . . rats. I’ll never get read at this rate.”
You know what else my books would say if they could talk? That I really should stop downloading so many great free ebooks from Book Cave! They’re getting jealous that I’m spending so much time reading amazing books that I didn’t even have to pay for.
If you’d like to make your books jealous by getting your own ebook steals, check out Book Cave’s current selection of ebook deals and sign up for their personalized daily ebook deals email so that you never miss a deal!
What would your books say if they could talk? Share with us in the comments below!