How Many Kids Parents Wanted vs. How Many They Actually Had

How Many Kids Parents Wanted vs. How Many They Actually Had

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Family planning is probably the biggest misnomer I’ve ever heard. You can’t plan anything.

Maybe you’re lucky, and maybe your plans do end up working out, but, for the vast majority of us, the families we end up with usually end up looking different than the ones we thought we’d get. Sometimes in small ways, like different genders than hoped, and sometimes in big was, like not being able to have children of your own or adopting additional kids after family tragedy.

The problem is, we all do it, this family planning. Ever since I was a little girl playing with dolls, I started planning my ideal family.

I was going to have five kids, and one pregnancy was going to be a set of boy/girl twins. Despite coming from a family where twins have never once happened.

Then in collage things got rough, and I decided I never wanted to have kids. Especially after being diagnosed with PCOS.

Then I started dating and imagining my future with potential partners, and I thought two or three kids would be the perfect number. And I would, of course, have one of each, two girls and one boy.

Now, after much trying, I’m pregnant with my third child, all girls, and I’m starting to think I could probably handle one more. Even if I never get my boy.

The thing is, even though I haven’t gotten both sexes and even though it took me a little big longer than I would’ve liked to get pregnant with each, I feel as though my journey has been pretty simple. I haven’t experience many of the additional factors that can make family planning even more difficult, surprising, heartbreaking, exciting, and a whole host of emotions.

Infertility, miscarriages, stillbirths, health issues, remarrying, adoptions, family tragedy, and more can cause unique and unforeseen circumstances that you couldn’t foresee.

Often times we mourn the family we thought we’d have, but we often learn to love the ones we are able to have.

Here are 85 different families answers on how many kids they wanted to have vs how many kids they actually ended up having. (Please note that names have been excluded to protect individual’s privacy.)

How Many Kids People Wanted and How Many They Actually Ended up With

1. “I didn’t want kids. My birth control failed, though, and I became pregnant. Now I’m obsessed with my son. He’s my most favorite person.”

2. “Wanted 2. Now pregnant with #7.”

3. “I wanted 4. Wanted twins or triplets, too. Unfortunately, we don’t have any. Infertility sucks!”

4. “Honestly, I never wanted kids. It wasn’t until I fell in love with my little niece that I decided to have kids. 2 biological and 1 bonus kid later. I am super happy I changed my mind!”

5. “2. One boy and one girl. Got 3 boys instead! Boy mom for life.”

6. “I wanted 5, but I have 2. And I think if I had 5 I would lose my mind.”

7. “10. I’m pregnant with our fourth and while I love my kids more than life itself, I’m done. I’ll have 4, 4 years old and younger, and I’m exhausted.”

8. “I wanted a boy & a girl, 3 years apart. My son is exactly 2 yrs, 9 months older than my daughter!”

9. “Wanted none. Ended up with 2 earth bound and 1 angel. No regrets. Love my girls.”

10. “We said 4. We are at 3 right now and one angel baby. Sometimes we agree on one more to make it even, then we disagree. Let’s see what God has in store for us!”

11. “I wanted 5. I had 5 pregnancies, but only 3 living children.”

12. “Wanted 5, have 3. All’s good. They’re the best!”

13. “I wanted 6, ONLY boys. I have 2 boys, a girl, & 2 precious angel babies.”

14. “I always said I wanted 3 kids, 1 boy and 2 girls, but the boy first so he could be the big protective brother and I was lucky enough to get just that!”

15. “1. And 3 including my husband. My mother-in-law’s child has been by far the hardest!”

16. “I wanted none. Now, I have 3 of my own, 2 bonus babies from my now husband, and just took custody of my niece and nephew.”

17. “Only ever wanted two daughter/sister and that’s exactly what I got magically. No way I’d have any more kids now. Two is plenty for me.”

18. “Wanted 3. Have 4. Now want 10.”

19. “As a kid I wanted 4. As an adult, I wanted 3.

“We’ve got one and that’s all we’re gonna have. 5.5 years of trying for #2, 40 years old. Don’t wanna go the fertility treatment route. Kid #1 is now 6.5. Don’t wanna go back to baby stage. Both my husband and I are 9 years younger than our closest sibling and hated it. We decided the maximum age gap we wanted was 6 years. If I was to get pregnant this month it’d be 7.5 years between them.”

20. “2, a boy and a girl, in that order. 3 if it just happened. Due to tragedy, we adopted my niece. I then had a girl and a boy of my own, in that order.”

21. “I wanted two. I had two. Only one is in my arms, but it still counts.”

22. “I wanted 2 or 3 . . . got 5 and 1 angel baby.”

23. “Either 5 boys or 4 boys and a girl. I’m good with my one boy now, but still want a little girl in the future possibly. I don’t want the 5 anymore!”

24. 2. Gave birth to 2, raised 6 and I love them all as my own.”

25. “Wanted 4, but happy with my 3!”

26. “I said over and over that I didn’t want kids when I was a kid myself. They’re the best things that’s ever happened to me. 3 beautiful angels, even the first one that drives me crazy.”

27. “Wanted 2 boys and blessed with 2.”

28. “I wanted 2, one of each. My daughter will be 13 yrs old and I’m currently 5 months pregnant with my son.”

29. “I wanted 3 or 4, but I was only blessed with one son.”

30. “I wanted 3 children and I was lucky and got 3 children. 1 daughter and 2 sons.”

31. “I wanted 5, 3 boys and a girl and then a boy. I had 1 daughter.”

32. “2 and I have 3. My oldest is a bonus I got when I married my husband 15 years ago.”

33. “I just wanted 2, a boy and a girl. I ended up with 2 boys.”

34. “I said 2 girls and 2 boys so that everyone would have a brother and everyone would have a sister. We had a girl and almost 5 years later we had a boy. Done.

“Done? Nope. Almost 9 years later, here come girl/boy twins!”

35. “I wanted 5 kids . . . I only have one child.”

36. “Wanted 0, had 5. No more for me. Had my tubes tied after our 5th for health reasons.”

37. “0. Now I have three girls who will all be teens at the same time.”

38. “Wanted, had twins. No more for me. I had my tubes tied when I had them.”

39. “I always said 2 or 4 because I didn’t want an odd number. I have 3.”

40. “I said a 2, a boy and girl. Ended up with 3, 1 boy and 2 girls.”

41. “I wanted 8!!! Now I have 2 and will maybe have one more.”

42. “I wanted twins when I was a kid because I had Barbie and ken and twins boy and girl. But I ended up with one boy who I adore so much.”

43. “Wanted 1 boy. I have 3 boys now, but that’s it. No more.”

44. “2, max of 3. I have 3 (1 singleton and a set of twins.).”

45. “I always wanted 12, but I have one.”

46. “Thought I wanted 4 when I was younger. Present me laughs at how ambitious past me was. haha. I have 2 and that is our max.”

47. “As a kid, I wanted 6. When we got married, it was 0. We have three.”

48. “I wanted 4. We stopped at 3. If they all hadn’t been born via c-section we would’ve probably had 4. But 4 c-sections is a lot.”

49. “When I was little, I said I’d have 4. I have had  and I have a step daughter too, so I’m at 3 and I think I’m good with 3.”

50. “We always said 4, but we’re ending at 3. But that was because of me and my pregnancies, they were tough.”

51. “0 … nada … didn’t want any! Ended up with 6! 2, mine; 4 bonus. lol.”

52. “I wanted twins and now I have a cat. So much better for me!!”

53. “6. I have 4. I would’ve had 6 if I had a healthy marriage and a support system.”

54. “Wanted 4 (2 boys, 2 girls). I have 2 (1 boy, 1 girl). Miscarried 2, and I’m happy and blessed with the 2 I have.”

55. “I said I wanted one … MAYBE 2. I have 5. With two of those being twins.”

56. “2, a boy and a girl. I have 2, both boys. And I wouldn’t change a thing! I’m a boy mom all the way!”

57. “Didn’t want any. Have three boys whom I love so very much!”

58. “I always wanted 2 girls. I have one son.”

59. “None. I have 7 now. Worked out well then.”

60. “I wanted 6, but 4 was enough.”

61. “I wanted 4, I have 3 now, but would have had 4 if I didn’t miscarry my 4th child.”

62. “Thought I wanted 3, but I actually have one and I don’t plan to have more!”

63. “Two! One boy, one girl. I now have two. One boy and one girl!”

64. “I always wanted 2 kids, and I have 2 kids.”

65. “I always wanted 2. Twins. Got them first. Now pregnant with #5. Our last.”

66. “I said 3 or 4 . . . and joked a lot about having 7 . . . I have 5.”

67. “Wanted one, have one. Just did it with the wrong person.”

68. “I wanted 6 or 7. God only let me have 3. But I’m okay with it.”

69. “I wanted 3, but happily due with our second and that’ll be it.”

70. “5. And now 5, but it took about a 25 year span.”

71. “2, but have 1 and that’s enough for me.”

72. “6 and I stopped at 2.”

73. “Wanted identical twin boys and ended up with fraternal twin girls.”

74. “I wanted 3… number 8 is on the way.”

75. “3. I currently have two. Will be a third if genetic testing comes back fine.”

76. “Zero. Now, I have three bio and three steps.”

77. “I wanted 8 or 9. I have 5.”

78. “Wanted maybe 2. Have 8.”

79. “I think I wanted a baseball team, but only physically had one.”

80. “None, and have 3 living, 3 angels, and 3 bonus.”

81. “None. Now I have 4 youngness at age 62. The 2 youngest are adopted.”

82. “0 kids. Hated kids. Ended up with 4. lol”

83. “0 and h ave 5 bio mine and 3 adoptive. So, have 8 in my care.”

84. “2. I only gave birth to 1, but had 4 extra step kids!”

85. “Always wanted 3, my favorite number. I have 3, but they’re all girls.”

In Conclusion: So, How Many Kids Did You Want?

I hope that through reading over these answer you were able to find some families who you related to and realize that many people are going through a similar journey as yours.

I hope that no matter what your personal circumstances are, that you’re able to find happiness in them. Finding happiness doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to mourn what you imagined, but that you allow yourself to process your emotions and find happiness in whatever circumstances you’ve been given.

What are your thoughts? Share with us in the comments below.

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